4-4-12  Post :  something I wrote for class

Who am I

            Dry dusty air blew up my nose.  The horses panted hard and tried to catch their breath. I looked down at the ground.  The ground was dry like it had not rained in months where we were. The sun bet down on us and even felt as though it was burning our skin.  It was hard to believe it was this hot when it seemed as though the morning had just come. It was a time in America of ridding horses and carrying guns.  Men taking things into there own hands. “I looked at Ras on his horse and at their hand full of guns. 

            I felt uneasy like I was nervous.  I had that feeling of knowing nothing good could come of what was happening.  “I recognized the absurdity of the whole night.”  I just sat there trying to make some kind of sense out what we had done to get where we were.  My mind searching for an answer to what comes next and why am I ridding with this group of outlaws?  I was always looking behind me and wondering what if?  I had an “arrangement of feelings hope and desire, fear and hate that had brought me here still running.”  Why did I follow Ras?  Fear was the answer.  What did I hate? I hated the situation the person I had become and the thing we were doing to others mostly me for having to do this to survive.  Ras and his men where always up to no good just trying anything to make money.  They didn’t care if they had to kill or still to get what ever they

wanted.  I knew if I ever said no to Ra’s it would be the last decision I ever made. At this moment I thought who am I?  I hated this life.  I never wanted to fear someone so much I just did what ever they told me with out question.  Dread that I would never get away from this life! I am tired of running and being told who I am supposed to be.