This is my last entry I think and I will have completed my assignment.  This entry will make 21 only the first one was a test to make sure I was doing it right, so that one didnt count.  I have treated my blog like a journal.  I hope I have done the assignment right.  I was hoping to take NA1 during the summer but I dont think I can.  I really need to get another job.  In april I will be done with my job until next season.  I am not sure of what I can do though.  I need to find someone that will work with me about the kids.  I would like to find something soon. We would like to take the kids to disney in september. They are at about the right age for all of them to enjoy the trip.  I hope we can do this vacation atleast once.  I think I did better with my bio 166 than my bio 165 so that is good.  I hope I can keep doing better as I go.  My first english paper was not good but I have gotten alittle better sence then.  I hope to finish both of these classes with good grades, so wish me luck!  I still have to pick my next english as well.  Hope I pick the right one.  I need to go talk to my counslor.  ttyl maybe ae 

Today is 4-9-12.  I had a good Easter with my family.  We went out to eat for Sunday lunch and the kids have had a easter egg hunt at home and with some cousins.  We went to the park and they fished this afternoon.  I had to go to school this morning and take my bio lab test.  I think I did ok but guess I will have to wait and see when the grade is posted.  I am still not sure what I mad on my last test for lecture.  This leaves me with two more chapters to study and one more test on those and then I will have to get ready for the final.  I need to turn my blog in tonight and check to make sure of my points on AOC.  I am down to one more exercise for bio.  I have a page to write about the exersice and cardio health.  I also have two research papers due.  One is for english and the other is for bio.  In english my paper is about church and state, In bio its going to be about heart desease and asthma.  Or at least at this point I thinking on these topics for bio.   Well I need to fix supper and take my daughter to practice.  Until next time. ae

Ok so it is 4-5-12 and I am in english class. I have my topic to my research paper and thesis statemnet.  I just went on nclive to email myself what looks like good articles to read and maybe use as a cite.  I also got my cite list checked and good thing I did, It was not right!  Need to redo my cite page and change some of the cites as well.  I have to go take my bio test right after this class not looking forward to it.  I hope I pass.  My husband picks at me that a 60 is better than a zero!  Guess he is right!  After the test its straight to work until 7 or there after if need be.  Easter is fast coming.  I still have somethings to do to get ready.  I think we are going to go eat somewhere with my mom and maybe one of my brothers.  I think we will have to do colored eggs of course with my kids and do the easter egg hunt.  I may be taking them to the park on monday after school.  Nest week my kids are out of school of the week and I am not so not sure how that is going to work.  I think my to be sister in law ma help me which is really nice because most of the time I have no help. If I cant be with the kids then my husband is with the kids and we get through like that.  So I am sure they will love to go play with cousins and be somewhere different.  ttyl ae

4-4-12 post part 3

            “I looked at Ra’s and knew that all this fear and confusion was over for me.  Live or die I knew who I wanted to be, and “knew that it was better to live out one’s own absurdity than die for that of others, whether for Ra’s or Jack’s.”   The End AE

Ok I think I copyed and pasted all of that right.  Hope you like the story!  I wrote this in english 111. unfortanatly I did the assignment wrong so im using it as a blog, and I redid the assignment right!  I just turned in a paper about a song.  I picked twinkle twinkle little star.  I am excited to get this paper back and see what mr. foster thought about it. I thought it was good.  I cant say about the grammer though.  I am never very good at that.  Well I need to get done with this and move on to studing for bio. I also need to make an appointment with my counsler to get ready for the next semester.  I think i will be at home during the summer my kids will be out of school. then in the fall taking my other english and phsycology or maybe naI because I will not get to do that this summer. Or thats the plan right now never know could change.  ae

4-4-12 post part 2

These men were the type of men you knew you did not cross and get away with it.  Silent, men of few words.  They had rough voices when they talked.  They got that way from smoking cigerattes almost all their life.  With their cowboy hates covering most of their face it was hard to see the dead empty stair when they looked at you.  At times you didn’t even know they where watching you they were so calm and calculating.  They said only what needed to be said and went on about their way.  I had started to become this way myself.   Cold and empty is what it felt like.  I felt as though I turned off some of my emotions only now in this moment I am lessening to them again.  All the fear and hate raged in me like wild horses being let free.  I had become so use to being able to just shut my self down to not thinking past a moment in time.  It was like I was alive again but for what?  What would I do with this new found emotion?

            Sitting here on this horse looking at Ras so tired of running I realized in that moment that I “knowing now who I was and were I was and knowing too that I has no longer to run for or from the Jacks and the Emersons and the Bledsoes and Nortons!”  I felt Hope that I could be who I always wanted to be.  I decided that I should be living my life the way I see fight not through “their confusion, impatience, and refusal to recognize the beautiful absurdity of their American identity and mine….”  What kind of life do I have in all this hate and fear every day?  Year after year not knowing who I am and just living for someone else’s selfish needs and wants.  I was a good man when I was young and still have part of that man inside me.  It has taken me a long time to realize who I am!

4-4-12  Post :  something I wrote for class

Who am I

            Dry dusty air blew up my nose.  The horses panted hard and tried to catch their breath. I looked down at the ground.  The ground was dry like it had not rained in months where we were. The sun bet down on us and even felt as though it was burning our skin.  It was hard to believe it was this hot when it seemed as though the morning had just come. It was a time in America of ridding horses and carrying guns.  Men taking things into there own hands. “I looked at Ras on his horse and at their hand full of guns. 

            I felt uneasy like I was nervous.  I had that feeling of knowing nothing good could come of what was happening.  “I recognized the absurdity of the whole night.”  I just sat there trying to make some kind of sense out what we had done to get where we were.  My mind searching for an answer to what comes next and why am I ridding with this group of outlaws?  I was always looking behind me and wondering what if?  I had an “arrangement of feelings hope and desire, fear and hate that had brought me here still running.”  Why did I follow Ras?  Fear was the answer.  What did I hate? I hated the situation the person I had become and the thing we were doing to others mostly me for having to do this to survive.  Ras and his men where always up to no good just trying anything to make money.  They didn’t care if they had to kill or still to get what ever they

wanted.  I knew if I ever said no to Ra’s it would be the last decision I ever made. At this moment I thought who am I?  I hated this life.  I never wanted to fear someone so much I just did what ever they told me with out question.  Dread that I would never get away from this life! I am tired of running and being told who I am supposed to be.

ok today is april 4th 2012.  I have decided what I will write my english paper about.  My topic is church and state.  My thesis is we should not take God out of government.  I have 5 cites already and I think I have a good start.  I will get into it more and probably add a cite to it or reword my thesis statement.
I have to go to class tomorrow so quess I will see what he says about what I have.  Bio tomorrow too.
Then I have to work.  I think I have all my point on agents of change. I have 375 I think but they will not add my last 30 for blue shirt wed.s until the game is over so that will put me at 405.  :) yay!
I still a ways to go with the blog I think this 14 or something, I need to count agagin.  I also have a writing assignment that can be a couple of my bloggs.  I have one 30 min exercise  left for that bio assignment and then I have to write about it for the last coupe points.  I would like to go to the learning commons for extra credit but I am not sure I will have time.  April is going to be a hard month for me! I hope I can hang in and finish this semester with good grades!!!